Ever since school ended a couple of weeks ago I've had a lot of time to just sit around with my thoughts. Actually, I've had too much time on my hands and it's becoming overwhelming just hanging out with the thoughts in my head. So I figured I might as well do something useful with these thoughts and feelings and create a blog. I never thought much about being a writer but I guess going to school as an English major it wouldn't hurt to explore all of my options.
This past year a lot of things - good and bad have happened. First, I'll talk about all of the good. I began my college career at Montgomery County Community College and decided what my next step would be from there. I decided to attend Penn State Altoona for my sophomore year and from there transfer to Pennsylvania State University - University Park for my junior and senior years. As I said, I am enrolled as an English major. I'm excited to get away and be on my own in a new environment. It'll be nice to make tons of new friends and just be in a completely new place. I'm excited for what the future holds, and it's such a relief finally figuring out what I want to do with my life.
Isn't it funny how you are supposed to make all of these huge life decisions before you are even allowed to legally purchase a drink?
Some not so great things have happened this year as well, but I learned that every bad experience happens for a reason, and maybe what you called the 'bad experience' at the time is something you needed to experience in order to grow as a person. And maybe when you look down the road in some years you'll realize that the 'bad experience' that may have sucked at the time… Wasn't such a bad experience after all.
Society has taught us that we shouldn't talk about our problems because everyone has problems and that it could always be worse. But, did anyone ever think that maybe what someone is going through is the worst thing that they could be going through at that point in their life? We've always been told that we should talk about whats bothering us because it's never a good thing to hold things in. So, although I have a positive outlook I still need to get things off my chest.
All of my 'bad experiences' this past year have taught me a lot about relationships, people, and mostly myself.
Never in a million years did I think I would no longer be best friends with the girl I was best friends with since 10th grade. The person that some of my most cherished memories are with, but I guess everything happen for a reason. Although, it really sucked and still does suck at times I was able to reconnect with some good friends I had lost touch with over the years and that was a rewarding thing.
I've always had a tough time opening up to the opposite sex. Mainly because besides a select few, I just don't trust them. This year I met someone I was able to open up to and actually felt that I could trust them. Although, it didn't end up working out and I still have some confusion and questions; I was able to learn a lot about myself. I learned that sometimes you have to let down the walls and let someone really get to know you. I learned that it's okay to get hurt and that it's okay to feel feelings. I learned I can't just shut people out because I'm scared of getting hurt and scared of feeling feelings. It's a scary thing letting people in past your exterior, but sometimes it's worth it. I guess the biggest thing I took from the upsetting end of this situation is don't be afraid to say what you feel. Feelings are inevitable and everyone has them.
Already this year has taught me so much and I can't wait to see what else is in store for me.
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