"Man Up"

In English this week we were learning about feminism throughout published texts and in everyday society. I learned how language is very meaningful and how the context of how something is said or written means a lot.

Today my professor showed us a video about a man refuting the the saying "Man Up." The saying can be very offensive and men, just like women face troubles in the everyday society. The saying "Man Up" is very demeaning to men. It's calling out and putting their masculinity into question.

All in all, this week I learned a lot about how words can be very offensive even if they are being said in a jokingly manner. Although, feminism has come a long way; women still face a lot of problems in today's society. And although it is not recognized as often or as much men face problems in todays society as well.

Here is the video that we watched in class today about the man refuting the saying "Man Up." I would highly recommend watching it!

Guante - "Ten Responses to the Phrase 'Man Up'"

Why Is It Always Hardest to Take Your Own Advice?

Why is it always so hard to take the advice that we can so easily give to others?

When someone you know needs you to lend an ear whether it be on a relationship, a work problem, or just anything at all - the advice that you are able to give just comes so easily.

But, just because you give them the advice in hopes that they will follow it doesn't mean that they always will. Things are always easier said than done, and many times we don't recognize that until we are put in a similar situation ourselves.

Relationship advice for example; it's one of the easiest things for me to give advice on. I listen to what people tell me and put myself in their shoes and then I give them the advice that seems most fitting for their circumstance. And I've always wondered why people continuously ask for the advice if they never end up actually taking it? I don't tell people what they want to hear, I tell them the truth and what they need to hear.

It's not until recently that I've realized that the advice is so easy to listen to and agree with at the time, but when it comes to following through with it - that's the hard part. No one ever notices how difficult taking their own advice can be until they are in a situation that causes them to do so.

While talking to my mom tonight about a situation she asked me "what would you tell a friend in this situation? You always give great advice… Now take your own advice."

Turns out, it's easier said than done but sometimes the only thing left to do is think about the advice you would give another person in your situation, and then take that advice yourself. I guess sometimes theres just no other choice.

She is a paradox

I stumbled upon this quote and thought long and hard about the meaning of it — mainly because I think it applies so much to myself. I analyzed it long and hard and came to the conclusion that when people tell me "I'm confusing" they are actually right. I have a good idea what I want out of my life with my schooling and my career. Other than that, I'm just enjoying the ride. I don't have to have everything figured out right now and I'm coming to the conclusion that that's okay. Many times people in their fifties still don't have everything figured out.

I'm always faithful to the ones I love and the ones close to me but regardless, I never like to get too close. The words "I love you" are thrown around so often these days and I don't understand how. I still have a hard time saying it to the people I have known for years and truly do love. It's just a tough thing to let out of my mouth. It makes you vulnerable, and that's scary. I have no problem committing to people but I have to be one hundred percent sure that it's the right thing. If it isn't, isn't it just a waste of both of our time?

I break down, just like everyone does (hence the gentleness), but I never let anyone see that. I keep moving forward. That's how I like to live my life.

I like to enjoy the good and embrace the bad because everything is a lesson learned even if it is unpleasant or a not so good decision.

You have to be a pretty good person to put up with me but I guess the ones that stick around are the true ones in my life or they just don't have a choice (haha). I'm a paradox and pretty unpredictable — but I'm okay with that.

What The Future Holds

Wow, it's been so long since I've written! 

I figured I would just post about where I'm at in this point of life.  

Next week, I leave for college which I am beyond excited for. I know now that I am ready to be on my own and ready to fully dive in whole heartily to what the future has in store for me. 

After my senior year I can honestly say I was no where near ready to move away from home and be on my own. I spent a year at community college which was the best decision at the time. I didn't fully know where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do with my life - so why waste all that money if I wasn't 100% sure what I wanted out of my future? Community college was a really great option and I would recommend it to people who are unsure. Even if you only attend for a year - like I did. 

This past year I have grown up so much and I'm really proud of where I'm headed. I am enrolled as an English major at Penn State Altoona, where I will remain for one year and then transfer to University Park for my junior and senior years. From there, I plan on attending law school. 

I've always had a passion for writing and it's always been my strong point. I've also always been interested in the criminal types of law. So I decided I might as well do something I'm passionate about (regardless of all the schooling.)

I'm so excited about my future and everything I have coming my way. These next few years will be filled with all new adventures and journeys. I'm looking forward to all of the new memories I am going to make! 

Blank

Lately, I haven't had much to say or write about. I wish I did, but I just don't. Maybe it's the summer and my brain not being in school or thinking mode. Hopefully, once I'm back in school and learning about different types of things I will have more to write about.

I don't just want to write about useless and unimportant things. Usually when I think of something to write about I write it down right away but lately I've just had nothing.

Summer time is freeing me and my brain of everything (which I can't complain about). Maybe in a month and a half when I'm back at school my mind will be full of thoughts again.

Independence Is Key

How come so many people are so dependent on others is a question that frequently runs through my mind.

Yes, I understand that younger children are dependent on their parents / other people to an extent, and I understand it's never a bad thing to ask for help, but there are so many people today that think they will get to where they want to be by leaning on someone else. That isn't the case, my friends.

In order to get to where you want to be and in order to thrive when you get there you must learn to be an independent person.

So many parents baby their children to the point where the child is incapable to do anything for themselves. It's not that they don't want to do it for themselves it's simply they either just don't know how to or they've had it done for them for so long that they just don't even think to do it for themselves. Raising a child to be that way is not helping them. In the long run it is actually hurting them.

I don't want to step on anyones toes or call people out on their parenting, but I've witnessed people out in the real world that have no idea how to fend for themselves and it's sad. It gets to a point where when they grow up and are on their own that they just don't know how to be alone. They don't know what to do with themselves. So they are always in a relationship because they are so dependent on others and they always need others to be doing things for them or they need others to help them feel something. It's never a bad thing to be alone. There are plenty of quotes that state "in order to be happy with someone else you must first be happy with yourself," and I agree with that 100 percent and think in order to be happy with yourself you must first spend some time alone.

One of the things that annoy me the most is when people say "I don't know how to not be in a relationship" or "I need to have a boyfriend / girlfriend." No, you don't. If that is what you think, then you need to learn how to be on your own because through everything the one person you will always have and always be able to rely on is yourself. You are the one person that you can always count on.

Growing up, my siblings and I were never babied but we were and still are always able to ask for help when we need it, but we are all our own and independent people. Because of that I was able to learn who I am and know what I want out of my life. I never had anyone telling me how I should / shouldn't feel about things, and I never had someone down my throat about what I should be doing with my life. I know how to be alone and on my own and feel things for myself. So shout out to you, mom. Thanks for that.

So my advice to parents, don't baby your children. Always be there for them but make them fend for themselves more often than not. How will they ever learn to be independent and fend for themselves if you are always doing it for them?

And my advice to children, don't always depend on your parents and other people. Work for what you want because no one else will get you to where you want to be besides yourself. Learn to be alone and find / get to know yourself before you commit to anything. You might like being alone and like yourself more than you think.

Friends or more?

There's many people who seem to be convinced that guys and girls can't be just friends.

I find that statement to be absurd. I have plenty of guy friends that I talk to every day and call if I want to hang out, but I've never pictured as anything more than a friend and could never see as anything more than a friend.

I don't understand why there are all of these sayings and quotes that state "guys and girls can be just friends, but at one point or another they will fall for each other." Maybe that is true in some cases but not in all.

It's just silly to me that a guy and girl can't be just friends without a bunch of people asking them about their relationship and what not. This day and age it is possible to just be friends with a guy without there being anymore to it.

People are so worried about everyone else and everyone else's relationships. Maybe if everyone focused on themselves a little more and their own relationships a little more society would shape up to be a little different for the future generations.

Inner-self

Today, alongside my blog I also began a journal. I have many deeper thoughts and feelings that I don't think I'm quite ready for the world to read just yet. I need to deal with those things on my own before I let the world have a preview.

There's so much I have to say to some people but I'm not quite sure how to put things in the right manner. Hopefully getting my thoughts and feelings out onto paper will help with forming the words that I'm looking for. The truth hurts and I don't think certain people are ready to hear the gods honest truth.

Hopefully, someday I'll be able to take things from my blog and journal and publish a book or do something useful with it.

Let It Go

I've always been told 'why worry about what you cannot change' and I'm finally coming to the conclusion of how true that statement really is.

This year a lot of things didn't go the way that I had planned or hoped for. A lot faltered in the way of friends and boys, and I spent a lot of time over analyzing and over thinking and then one day someone said to me "is it really worth putting yourself through this? Do you really want to know the answers to these questions? There's nothing you can change or do, so just let it go." It was a major reality check and one that I desperately needed.

People spend too much and too many of their days worrying and over thinking things that they miss out on all of the good that is going on around them. After I got my reality check, I realized how much I had missed out on while I was 'bumming' around my house. Once I finally got back out and allowed myself to have fun I realized how silly it was to mope and wonder about the things I had no control over.

I know that it's hard to let some things go, but sometimes once you do you realize the weight that has been lifted off of your shoulders. People come in and out of your life for a reason. You may not know that reason but there is always one there. Every person you meet teaches you something. Whether it's just a silly little fact or a huge life lesson.

People come and people go. There will always be something to worry about or wonder about but how you chose to let that affect you is your decision.

Sometimes, theres nothing else you can do but let it go.

The Phone Crazed Generation

Today's generation is so obsessed with social media and their cell phones. I too am beyond guilty of it. Whenever someone has a free second in their day you can probably guess that they are sending / responding to a text or checking social media.

Today, I decided to turn my phone off for a little bit and just enjoy the company around me and just enjoy life without the pressure of having to answer a text or check social media. I must say, it was quite a relief. You really learn a lot about a person when you put down the phone, look them in the eye, and have a conversation where you are fully listening to what the other person has to say.

How many times have you been with a group of friends and instead of talking to each other you are all sitting there on your phones - texting other people? What is the point? If you wanted to be talking with the other people then perhaps you should have decided to hang out with them instead. How many times has someone been trying to have a conversation with someone and hardly have any of their attention because their eyes are glued to their phone, and then they finally look up and say "what did you say?" Isn't it so aggravating?

The generation that we live in knows nothing other than social media. It's how everyone stays 'in the know,' and while that is all fine and well there is a time and a place for everything. While with a group of people, on a date, etc that is not the time nor the place.

I used to be that person who was ALWAYS on their phone. No matter who I was with or what the situation. I would never put it down and while I still usually have it on me, I now know how aggravating it is to be trying to have a conversation with someone while they are paying no attention to you and instead texting someone else.

Many people use their phone as an escape mechanism. For instance, if they see someone they have no desire to talk to then instead of a simple 'hello' they look down at their phone and pretend they are busy.

Even little kids these days are obsessed with their iPod's, iPad's, etc. It's a shame because they don't get to experience life. How many people look back and remember "oh yeah, that was the day I played that really cool game on my iPad." No, they look back and remember the fun times in the park, and riding their bikes, and just enjoying the outdoors.

I sure do hope that by the time I have kid's society isn't still phone crazed. I hope it's back to the way things used to be when kids would play outside for fun and not sit inside playing a game on their iPod.

If everyone could just put down their phones for a little while and enjoy the company around them I think the world would see a world of difference in peoples interactions towards each other.

Relationships, Standards, and Dating.

I've always found people who hop from relationship to relationship like it's nothing interesting. Mainly, I just wonder how? I wonder do you actually like the person or is it just a comforting factor knowing you always having someone there?

The way I look at relationships is that if I'm not totally into the person, instead of wasting my time and their time then I don't proceed. I'd rather have a ton of friends, and just hang out and date then be in a committed relationship if I'm not feeling things. Maybe that's just me and maybe I'm weird because of that, but I don't want to just settle if my heart isn't fully into it.

In my 19 years of living (not many, I know) I've only wanted a relationship two times. One of which happen and one of which did not. My high school relationship was pretty serious and never did I regret being in it because it taught me a lot.

At this age, I feel like people are just figuring out what they want and what they don't want. If you never get to date and experience all different types of people then how do you actually know what you want in a lifelong partner when it comes down to deciding?

I guess some people get lucky on their first try of a relationship and just know that they never want / need to experience anyone else. But, I've learned over the years that there is nothing wrong with dating and if you aren't into it then you aren't into it. That's what dating is for. It's a thing that allows you to figure out what you want in a partner and what you do not.

Maybe my standards are too high, but I won't just settle for anyone. (Maybe that's also why I've only ever had one serious relationship.)

Unless the feelings are mutual and we both want to be totally committed to each other then serious relationships are just pointless. At this age we should just be having fun and dating because this is the time in our lives where we need to make experiences and we need to learn in order to proceed with the rest of our life.

If you see no future with someone then why proceed? Life is short and there is no time to be wasted; so have tons of friends and go on tons of dates, and then when you meet the right person you'll know and have no problem committing.

Choices

People are faced with choices every day. Those choices vary from 'what should I have for breakfast' to 'is this how I want to spend the rest of my life.' What you decide to do with those choices are up to you. The choices you make define you as a person. How do you want to be defined?

Of course everyone has made some life choices from time to time that they aren't proud of, but what you take and learn from those not so good choices is important.

This past year I've learned a lot about choices. I've learned that you are the ruler of your own life and no one can make you feel happy or sad without your say. You are in complete control of how you choose to feel.

I've been faced with many choices this past year varying from what I want to do with the rest of my life, to choosing who my true friends are and who I want to keep in my life. I've also learned that sometimes you have no choice, but you do have a choice in how you react to the circumstance. A situation may not be ideal and it may not have gone as planned, but how I chose to deal with that situation defined me. Sometimes you have no choice but to just let it go and move on. Sometimes the best thing to do is to choose to cut ties with people for the sake of your own happiness. This year I chose to be happy, and I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me.

I feel like people let others have so much say in their life choices. It's your life so live it how you choose to. If you want to lay in bed all day one day, then go for it. If you want to go skydiving, feel free. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. You don't want to look back someday on something and realize it was your choice, but you chose to listen to someone else's opinion.

Choose to be happy or choose to be sad, but don't let anyone else make those choices for you. You are the ruler of your life. 

Isn't it funny?

I find it funny how the term 'isn't it funny' is used so often these days.

Like 'isn't it funny they turned out to be so different then I had originally thought,' or 'isn't it funny they told me it wouldn't work out because distance, but now weeks later they are in the same situation with someone else,' or 'isn't it funny how people can walk out of your life, just like that?'

No people, none of those things are funny. Maybe that term is being used as a coping mechanism. I know I do it myself, and usually when I'm saying 'isn't it funny' I really don't find the matter to be funny. I probably find the matter to be upsetting or hurtful, but instead of letting others know how we really feel about the situation we simply just say 'isn't it funny?'

I know laughing it off or trying to make jokes out of upsetting situations is much easier to do than actually dealing with the situation, but in the end, where does that get us?

We've always been told that it's okay to cry and it's okay to be sad. So how come when we feel anything other than happy; it doesn't feel okay? Or how come when someone is crying in public it becomes the talk of the town? The truth is, everyone is facing things other people know nothing about. But everyone's problems matter and they shouldn't feel any less just because what they are going through isn't as significant as what someone else may be going through.

So, 'isn't it funny' how we've always been told it's okay to feel one way, but society has made us think and feel completely different about what is okay?

Experiences

The other day I was watching a movie and I heard something interesting. One of the characters said that in order to be a good writer you need to have experiences and by the age of 25 you should have enough experiences to be able to write novels for the rest of your life.

Now, it was in a movie so who knows if that is completely true but it got me thinking. It got me thinking about how experiences shape you as a person and I'm not entirely sure I have enough experiences.

One day I want to be able to share my stories and experiences and hopefully be able to inspire people or at least teach them a lesson or two about life.

Of course going away to college is going to give me a lot of experience in the 'party scene' and I'm sure I'll have plenty of funny stories to tell about that. But, that isn't what college is all about and that isn't what life is all about. Life is so much more than drinking every weekend.

I want to be able to travel the world and meet people all over. I want to learn about all of the different cultures there are and learn about all of the different types of people that this world consists of. And then I want to bring back my stories and experiences and be able to share them. Even if I inspire or teach just one person a lesson, that'll be enough for me.

Life is what we make it and we aren't roots in the ground. We are able to move around, and travel, and learn. Too many people are content just staying in one place and I don't think that is enough for me. I want more than that in my life.

I want to learn and I am eager to learn about everything else this world has to offer.

Left Wondering

I've always wondered how people can just randomly stop talking to a person. It's always boggled my mind a little how you can be so close for so long or even for just a short period of time, and then randomly you never hear from that person again with little to no explanation. It leaves you with many questions and it really just leaves you wondering.

The other persons quick, unexplained exit from your life leaves you with a lot of confusion and a lot of questions. The main question probably being; what did I do wrong?

You probably want to reach out to them but don't want to feel 'annoying' or like you're 'overstepping your boundaries' by asking them a question.

My question is: what are you supposed to do in this situation? What do you do when you are left with so little answers? How do you move on or receive closure when your mind is just racing with the things that possibly went wrong or what you could have done differently?

I wish I had the answers and could put my mind at ease.

A Whirlwind of Thoughts

Ever since school ended a couple of weeks ago I've had a lot of time to just sit around with my thoughts. Actually, I've had too much time on my hands and it's becoming overwhelming just hanging out with the thoughts in my head. So I figured I might as well do something useful with these thoughts and feelings and create a blog. I never thought much about being a writer but I guess going to school as an English major it wouldn't hurt to explore all of my options.

This past year a lot of things - good and bad have happened. First, I'll talk about all of the good. I began my college career at Montgomery County Community College and decided what my next step would be from there. I decided to attend Penn State Altoona for my sophomore year and from there transfer to Pennsylvania State University - University Park for my junior and senior years. As I said, I am enrolled as an English major. I'm excited to get away and be on my own in a new environment. It'll be nice to make tons of new friends and just be in a completely new place. I'm excited for what the future holds, and it's such a relief finally figuring out what I want to do with my life.

Isn't it funny how you are supposed to make all of these huge life decisions before you are even allowed to legally purchase a drink? 

Some not so great things have happened this year as well, but I learned that every bad experience happens for a reason, and maybe what you called the 'bad experience' at the time is something you needed to experience in order to grow as a person. And maybe when you look down the road in some years you'll realize that the 'bad experience' that may have sucked at the time… Wasn't such a bad experience after all.

Society has taught us that we shouldn't talk about our problems because everyone has problems and that it could always be worse. But, did anyone ever think that maybe what someone is going through is the worst thing that they could be going through at that point in their life? We've always been told that we should talk about whats bothering us because it's never a good thing to hold things in. So, although I have a positive outlook I still need to get things off my chest.

All of my 'bad experiences' this past year have taught me a lot about relationships, people, and mostly myself.

Never in a million years did I think I would no longer be best friends with the girl I was best friends with since 10th grade. The person that some of my most cherished memories are with, but I guess everything happen for a reason. Although, it really sucked and still does suck at times I was able to reconnect with some good friends I had lost touch with over the years and that was a rewarding thing.

I've always had a tough time opening up to the opposite sex. Mainly because besides a select few, I just don't trust them. This year I met someone I was able to open up to and actually felt that I could trust them. Although, it didn't end up working out and I still have some confusion and questions; I was able to learn a lot about myself. I learned that sometimes you have to let down the walls and let someone really get to know you. I learned that it's okay to get hurt and that it's okay to feel feelings. I learned I can't just shut people out because I'm scared of getting hurt and scared of feeling feelings. It's a scary thing letting people in past your exterior, but sometimes it's worth it. I guess the biggest thing I took from the upsetting end of this situation is don't be afraid to say what you feel. Feelings are inevitable and everyone has them. 

Already this year has taught me so much and I can't wait to see what else is in store for me.